


Her Worst Nightmare

by Nyxelestia



Series: Old Kinkmeme Fics [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Gay Relationship, Domestic Violence, F/F, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Nightmares, No Lesbians Die, POV Outsider, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Team as Family, Though Nat Kinda Wants To, post-Extremis, set after Iron Man 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-13 08:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11755941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxelestia/pseuds/Nyxelestia
Summary: Most devastating, though, was her slumped shoulders. Pepper prided herself on her perfect posture, but right now, she seemed empty, like whatever normally held her up was gone. She tried and failed to smile at him in greeting.It took him only a moment to see Natasha perched on a stool in the corner, hunched over herself and not looking up at all. She didn’t look injured at all.For this prompt: [Pepper] is either sharing a bed with or is in the same room as Natasha when she's having a nightmare and tries to wake her. Turns out, waking up a seasoned, extra-powerful spy from a terrifying nightmare is a very bad idea, and Natasha - blindly and still mentally in that scary place - attacks.





	1. Bruce Banner

**Author's Note:**

> I'm cleaning up and reposting a bunch of old kinkmeme fics here (though not otherwise rewriting them). I wrote this fic over four years ago for [this prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/16019.html?thread=35749523#t35749523):
>
>> Any is either sharing a bed with or is in the same room as Natasha when she's having a nightmare and tries to wake her. Turns out, waking up a seasoned, extra-powerful spy from a terrifying nightmare is a _very_ bad idea, and Natasha - blindly and still mentally in that scary place - attacks.
> 
> That said, rather than writing about the attack itself, this fic is focused on the aftermath and recovery.

JARVIS hadn’t explained what was going on, just that his medical capacity was needed. _Yes, it’s urgent, and I’m aware you’re not a medical doctor, Dr. Banner, but your expertise and discretion are still being called for._

He stumbled into the small corner of his lab, the one that'd somehow morphed into a makeshift clinic for the Avengers and their friends and family. Trust issues with doctors ran deep among them all.

He blinked and almost Hulked out on the spot when he saw Pepper sitting on his little medical examination bed. She sported a black eye and bruises around her neck and on her chin, clutching her swollen left arm to her chest.

Most devastating, though, was her slumped shoulders. Pepper prided herself on her perfect posture, but right now, she seemed empty, like whatever normally held her up was gone. She tried and failed to smile at him in greeting.

It took him only a moment to see Natasha perched on a stool in the corner, hunched over herself and not looking up at all. She didn’t look injured at all.

“What,” he said lowly, looking between the two women. “Happened?”

“Bit of an accident,” Pepper started.

“I hurt her,” Natasha said.

Bruce hadn’t heard that cracked voice since he’d viewed the hacked recording of what happened on the Helicarrier after the Other Guy’s rampage. “I-”

“-was having a nightmare,” Pepper said, snapping at Natasha before turning a more gentle attention onto Bruce. “I know I’m not supposed to try waking her up, but this time I forgot and she was still asleep when she attacked-”

“I hurt you!” Natasha cried out, finally looking up at Pepper. She looked about ready to cry, scared and angry at the same time. Bruce wondered if she’d looked that way after her showdown with the Hulk, too. “Stop pretending it’s okay!”

“I didn’t say it was okay, I just said it wasn’t your fault,” Pepper said, turning on the spot and wincing, though not looking away from Natasha. “We’ll fix this, but first we’ll let Dr. Banner fix my arm, okay?”

Natasha slowly nodded, putting her head back down.

That was when Bruce realized she was actually shaking.

“Sorry for waking you, Dr. Banner,” Pepper said, turning back to him.

“No problem,” Bruce said, moving to roll an X-ray machine closer to Pepper. It wasn't actually intended for medical purposes, but it worked well enough in a pinch. “I’m glad you did.”

“It doesn’t feel like a break,” Pepper said. “But the last time I broke a bone was in high school, so I may be wrong about this.”

Bruce nodded, and got to work.

Her arm had a few minute fractures, but otherwise nothing seemed to have actually snapped. He gave her a low-dosage of the painkillers normally reserved for the Avengers themselves, and some ice for her black eye.

When he saw the finger shaped bruises on her neck and the reddening, dark skin on her chin, Bruce had to turn away. He spent several moments breathing deeply and trying not to think of his mother.

“I should go,” Natasha said from behind him,

“I would like you to stay,” Pepper retorted. Bruce turned back to face them both, managing not to react when he saw that Natasha had uncurled and was sitting upright, ready to jump up and run away. She was staring at the floor by Pepper’s feet.

“Do you want me to do a...full-body check-over?” Bruce asked. Pepper was in her usual sweatpants and tank top, so most of her body was covered. So many potential bruises hidden.

Natasha wore a light nightdress to sleep, revealing a lot more skin with not a single bruise on it, save for some scratches around her wrists, neck, and face.

“The rest of me is fine, except this,” Pepper said, tugging on the pants on her right leg, pulling it up to reveal a dark and swollen knee. Bruce hissed, and Natasha flinched and turned away.

He took a closer look, and was relieved to be able to tell her, “It’s a sprain.”

A tight brace and some icing directions, with a few more of the painkillers, and Bruce was packing up his things as he looked for some crutches that could be adjusted to Pepper’s height.

He turned around and held them out, only for Pepper to shake her head and say, “Natasha can pick those up for me later, right now she’s carrying me back to our room.”

“What?!” Natasha asked, snapping up and staring at Pepper.

“Hopefully,” Pepper continued, with expression approaching a hint of a smile that was drowned in desperation. “It’ll ease up her guilt complex.”

“She _should_ feel guilty,” Bruce muttered. Natasha shut her eyes and leaned her head back, while Pepper’s face hardened.

“She was asleep. Asleep and having a nightmare, and I know better than to wake her up when she’s like that-”

“It’s not your fault,” Bruce began.

“Of course it’s not!” Pepper said, pushing herself to the edge of the bed. “Why do you think I called this an accident?”

Bruce sighed. “You two should sleep in separate rooms for a while.”

“I’ll take the couch,” Natasha said immediately.

“Our suite has a guest room.” Pepper said, turning to face her.

“What if you need something?” Natasha asked. “The guest room is all the way on the other side-”

“Oh, yes, a whole extra ten seconds of walking,” Pepper said. “You don’t need to sleep on the couch.”

Natasha was clearly unhappy about this, but also unwilling to argue.

And probably unwilling to risk Pepper saying she needed some distance between them to sleep again.

Bruce didn’t comment on Pepper’s white-knuckled grip on the edge of the bed as Natasha neared. Instead, he watched as Natasha got one arm under Pepper’s shoulders and another under her knees, lifting her up with ease. While she wasn’t as strong as Steve or Thor or the Hulk, Natasha still had a lot of muscle hidden in her lithe body - muscle that was just used against a civilian, against _Pepper, damn it all to hell_ \- and having Pepper in her arms seemed to ease the trembling. Pepper, for her part, took several deep breaths before leaning her head against Natasha’s shoulder. The slight nuzzle she gave seemed to make them both feel better.

“I can follow you,” Bruce said, gesturing with the crutches. Pepper sighed and Natasha nodded gratefully. The three of them went out, the lights turning off as they left the lab and the elevator opened for them at the end of the hall. Under his breath, he muttered, " _Thanks, JARIVS._ "

The silence was deafening but Bruce didn’t break it, and neither did either of the ladies there. He simply watched as Pepper leaned more and more into Natasha, the combination of exhaustion and painkillers causing her to start nodding off. Natasha cradled Pepper like the precious being she was all the way to their bedroom, where Bruce pulled back the covers for Natasha to lay her sleeping girlfriend down. He put some pillows under Pepper’s knee and Natasha tucked Pepper in and kissed her goodnight. Pepper leaned into the touch, and for a moment Natasha pressed their foreheads together before getting up and turning away. Bruce leaned the crutches against the bedside table, within Pepper’s easy reach, before following Natasha out.

He found himself unsurprised when he saw Natasha curling up on the couch. He raised an eyebrow at her as she turned on the lamp and pulled a magazine off the coffee table.

“You really think I’m going to be able to sleep after that?” Natasha asked. She was a little calmer, now, her blank expression betrayed only by the redness around her eyes.

“I’d tell you not to hurt her again,” Bruce said. “But I’m pretty sure saying it would be a moot point. Look after her knee, remember the ice, and make sure she doesn’t take too few or too many painkillers.”

Natasha nodded, and Bruce left.

He decided not to tell her that the magazine was upside down.

It wasn’t like she was really reading it, anyway.


	2. Thor

Thor set Pepper down into the sofa chair that let her view the city over one shoulder and the television over the other. He pulled the small lever that raised up the underside of the chair until she was lounging, and then put a pillow under her knee as Bruce had instructed. “Are you settled well, my lady?”

“One, yes I am, thank you,” Pepper said, smiling up at him. “Two, haven’t we had this talk about addressing me as ‘lady’?”

“Of course, Pepper,” Thor said with as much good humor as he could muster. “I apologize-”

“Try Khaleesi!” Darcy called over the counter of the small kitchen. Pepper burst out laughing, and Thor felt something deep within him ease at the sound.

“Here we go,” Darcy said, strolling to the couch with one arm holding a large bowl of popcorn and the other bearing a small tray of refreshments. She set the bowl in Jane’s lap as she handed out the drinks. Thor settled in beside Jane before accepting his own drink - leafy and yet so very sweet.

Darcy sat on Jane’s other side - and within easy reach of Pepper and her things - as the song of the Game of Thrones started to play.

They all watched in silence, save for the occasional quiet commentary between Pepper and Darcy. Thor and Jane preferred to watch quietly. He held her close, more mindful than ever before of how delicate Jane was - despite her insistence otherwise.

If even Natasha could hurt Pepper so in her sleep - what could Thor do to Jane, without any effort on his part at all?

He tried not to think about it.

Instead, he focused on the show before him. A Song of Fire and Ice was an engaging epic, and this drama based upon it was re-enacted masterfully.

And yet, every now and then, it also served to remind him of that which he so feared.

When it ended, Thor bent down to kiss Jane’s brow before his beloved went off to meet with Bruce and Tony. Darcy announced she had work assigned by her teachers to complete. After checking on Pepper one more time, she went off, too.

The television screen went blank, and Pepper started to sort through business missives as Thor took a deep breath and prepared himself to speak.

“Lady Pepper,” he began.

“Thor,” she said sternly, and he couldn’t help the small smile that mirrored hers at their typical argument.

“Khaleesi?” he tried, and she smiled outright. But when she looked up, the smile dimmed as she caught sight of Thor’s countenance.

“Is everything alright?”

“I feel I should be asking you this,” Thor said.

Pepper sighed in exasperation. “This was an accident, Thor-”

“I heard,” Thor said. He paused. Maybe a less direct approach was in order. “Daenerys Targaryan is a fierce woman, but even she could be hurt by those around her, and by her king-”

“Well 'Khal' Natasha didn’t try to hurt me,” Pepper snapped, her smile gone completely. “I know the difference between abuse and accident, Thor. I can take care of myself.”

“I do not doubt that, Pepper,” Thor said. “But - I wish for you to know that if you ever are in need-”

“I’m sure,” she said tersely, and Thor could feel the conversation heading far away from what he had intended.

“It pains me to see you hurt,” Thor said. “And - Natasha is my friend. It pains me, too, to see you both like this, scared and loving all the same.”

“...Thor-”

“I do not mean to imply that Natasha is a traitor, nor that you are a...a damsel in distress,” Thor said, leaning forward a little and awkwardly using the phrase Darcy had. “I merely advise you caution, and understanding. If it pains _me_ to see you like this, I fear what Natasha feels as much as I fear for your safety. I know there is little I can offer, but if there is anything I can ever do to help you - either of you - I hope you will tell me.”

Pepper smiled, brittle but genuine. “I will, Thor.”

He nodded, leaning back in his seat. “Good.”

“I’m grateful,” Pepper continued. “But...please don’t mention this again.”

“Of course not...Khaleesi.”


	3. Clint Barton

Clint swam back into consciousness from his impromptu nap on the living room couch. He heard Pepper and Phil's low, murmuring voices from the direction of the little breakfast table by the kitchenette.

"Are you sure?" Phil asked. Clint opened his eyes to slits to see Phil leaning back in his chair, his tense fingers easing up their grip around the beer bottle he was holding.

"Yes," Pepper said, wrapping her hands around her own beer and leaning forward over the table. "It's fine, Phil. I...I want us to be okay. This is one step towards that."

"This might be a case where it's better to hit the ground walking," Phil warned.

Pepper sighed, taking another sip of her beer. "I don't...I know Natasha is dangerous, and so is being around her. But..."

"But," Phil agreed.

For a moment, everything was silent, and Clint eased up on his breathing. It wouldn't do for them to hear him, and realize he was awake – not yet.

"Well, I can't exactly throw stones on the matter. I just want to make sure you understand the risks of sleeping in the same bed-"

"We're not, not yet," Pepper pointed out. "We're moving a cot into the room for a few nights, for now."

"I mean after," Phil said. "When you..." He sighed. "Natasha will always be dangerous, and her demons are never going to go away."

"I don't expect them to," Pepper said. "I just...I want to be there for her. She deserves that much."

"...I understand," Phil said. "I'll get something arranged for your bedroom."

"Something temporary," Pepper said. "End goal is still to sleep in the same bed again."

"Of course," Phil said. He drained his beer and stood up, and Clint shut his eyes completely again as Phil stood up. He listened to the soothing sounds of Phil recycling his bottle and putting his tablet and papers in order.

He was also unsurprised when Phil, walking across the living room, said rather loudly, "You're not fooling anyone, Barton."

"You're fooling me," Pepper assured him, with a fond smile. Clint didn't bother to contain his soft laugh as he opened his eyes and eased his body up, stretching his muscles as he went.

It was still gratifying to see the slight double-take of Phil's gaze when he did.

But Phil's stride didn't break and a moment later, he was gone, leaving Clint and Pepper in the penthouse.

"Need to go anywhere?" Clint asked, glancing at the bulge of Pepper's pant-leg at her knee.

"I wouldn't mind going back to the couch," Pepper admitted, gathering up her laptop and a folder. Clint nodded, pushing the coffee table into place after getting up, and going and lifting up Pepper.

She felt dainty in his arms. Clint wondered if this is how people who were scared of dropping babies felt when holding them.

He set her down, put a pillow under her knee, and reclaimed his spot on the other end of the couch, grabbing the remote and finding some stupid sitcom to watch for now.

The not-silence was a little tense. While Clint liked and respected Pepper, they weren't the type to hang out. When they did, it wasn't so much as doing something together as having some overlapping space when they were each doing their own thing.

Clint stayed, anyway.

It paid off.

"Does it get better?" Pepper asked. Thankfully, she wasn't looking up from her laptop screen, which meant Clint could keep focusing on the TV screen. He had no idea what it was playing, anymore.

"What?" Clint asked.

"The..." Pepper paused. "I don't want me and Natasha to be scared of each other. And I don't want her to be scared of herself."

"She'll always be scared of herself," Clint said. "Occupational hazard."

"I want to make things better."

"That's half the journey right there, promise," Clint said. "But the sleeping thing..." He sighed, and leaned back, angling his head towards Pepper a bit even as he kept staring at the screen. "Sleeping is dangerous. It's letting your guard down and being vulnerable. It's inescapable, and sometimes where you end up when you go to sleep isn't any better than the waking world you left behind. It's...scary. It's scary and it happens every day."

Pepper didn't say anything.

"You know when I knew this thing between you and Nat was serious?" Clint asked. "It wasn't when Phil started getting joint paperwork together, it wasn't any anniversary, it wasn't the dates or the jewelry or any of that. It was when I saw Nat sleeping by you. She had her head in your lap and you were awake while she was asleep. And she wasn't pretending, she was _actually_ asleep. That was when I knew she was serious about you."

"And now...?" Pepper asked, finally giving up the farce of doing work and looking up to ‘watch' the sitcom, too.

"She's scared," Clint said. "She cares about you, and that's dangerous, for you and her both. She loves you, she wants to protect you and she wants to be protected by you. All of that is dangerous, and she's doing it anyway."

"So she's scared of screwing up," Pepper said. "That I'll...leave her?"

"Yeah."

"But she's been one step away from leaving me for my own protection."

"Okay, maybe leaving is the wrong word," Clint said. "More like...losing. She doesn't want to lose you. And she's scared that she will be the reason you end up lost to her. Or worse."

"Worse?"

"Lost, period. Lost to the world."

Pepper sighed, and turned her attention to her laptop, making some note on some program with lots of numbers in it.

"I don't want to lose her, either," Pepper murmured.

"Make sure to tell her that," Clint offered. "That's not a concept that she's used to – that someone could miss her and want her just for _her_ , even after it hurts them. She spent half her life being a commodity that was only wanted as long as it was useful and easy to keep her. Most of the time she's fine, but then something like this happens and, well – what's she supposed to do?"

"I don't know," Pepper admitted, even though Clint's question had been rhetorical. "That's not a feeling I'm used to. I always know what to do, and how to get it done. This, though..."

"So you're both in over your heads?" Clint said. "Maybe...maybe that's not such a bad thing. That _both_ of you are lost. You two can work on this together."

"Both of us charging in with no idea what we're doing?" Pepper asked. "I want the fear to go away, that's all."

"It probably never will," Clint said. "It was always there. I mean – when Phil and I first started up, the biggest problem was the nightmares. We both had them, but mine were the violent kind, and Phil, well...I hurt him. Nothing more than a bruise or something, but still, I hurt him. And he was in the army once, too, and he has combat training and everything. And sometimes I'm still afraid. You? You're a civilian. Most of your combat training ends a step or two after basic-self defense. You're...I know you're not going to like this, but compared to us, you're fragile. You're easily hurt, and I guarantee that Natasha was always afraid this would happen."

"But still, beforehand-"

"That was...her being brave," Clint said.

"You guys are brave for a living, though."

"Putting yourself in dangerous situations and hurting the bad guys is easy. Putting yourself in what's supposed to be a safe situation, and risk hurting someone you love? That's harder. A _lot_ harder. Sometimes I feel like I'd rather go after a terrorist base all over again than risk hurting Phil."

"And yet you sleep with him anyway?" Pepper asked.

"Duh," Clint chirped. "You seen how he's under that suit?" Pepper chuckled a bit, and Clint continued. "If I let what the bad guys have done to me get in the way of what I do now, then they win."

"And we can't let anyone else win but us," Pepper agreed sagely.

"Exactly!" Clint said. "So, you know...listen to Nat. But talk to her, to."

"Thank you, Clint," Pepper said sincerely, and thankfully said no more.

This time, when they turned to face the TV screen, they were content to watch the show together.


	4. Tony Stark

It had been such a small thing.

Pepper was sliding some papers to Tony over a large table. She leaned on her bad knee to get some leverage to lift herself up, and hissed in pain.

And it wasn't like the pain was bad. Tony still got the papers and the pain seemed to ebb away in moments. But still, it was _this_ that finally got Tony to blurt out, "I still have the Extremis injection, you know."

Pepper looked up at him from where she'd been massaging her knee.

"...if you want it," Tony added.

She shook her head. "That, Tony, is the last thing this situation needs."

"Okay," Tony agreed amicably, still eyeing her knee. "I'm just saying, I...if this becomes a more common problem and you're dead set on staying with her, you might need it."

"I won't," Pepper insisted.

Tony nodded, his movement getting slower and slower as he sunk into thought.

"You seem to keep getting attacked by your partner in your sleep, don't you?"

"Tony," Pepper said with a sigh, pushing her tablet to the side to reach over and take Tony's hand in her own. "You can't still be feeling guilty about that, can you?"

"I almost tried to kill you," Tony said, waving the free arm emphatically. "With my suit. I thought _you_ were a threat, and to this day I still hold you were one of the best things to ever happen to me."

"That night was awful for both of us, Tony, and it's not something you can keep blaming yourself for," Pepper said. Then she squeezed his hand and added, "And I would appreciate you not blaming Natasha for this, either."

"She had one free pass, and she just used it up," Tony declared without an ounce of shame. "If this ever happens again, I do not care if it's an accident, I'll..."

"What?" Pepper challenged.

"...I'll do to her what I would've done to myself if I ever hurt you," Tony said finally. Pepper's face flashed in surprise as his implications sunk in.

"No," Pepper said. "If she ever hurts me on purpose, go right ahead, but an accident? No. She doesn't deserve that, and neither do you. You're both better than that."

"We're a team, Pepper," Tony said, slowly and gently twisting his hand out of Pepper's grip. Pepper let him. "Most of the time, that means looking out for each other, protecting each other from the world. But with the kind of people we are, the other time that means protecting the world from us, and from each other."

"And I'm 'the world', now?" Pepper asked.

"You are to Natasha," Tony said, finally extracting his hand. He started spreading out the paperwork again and added, "She's depending on the rest of us to protect you from her if...if it comes to that."

"Well, it hasn't and it won't," Pepper said, pulling her tablet close again. "Please, Tony, don't...she's been hurt and betrayed enough in her life."

"I somehow doubt she would consider it a betrayal, if we avenged you," Tony said. "And if she did, then she's already betrayed us, and you."

"I appreciate your concern, Tony, but please - stay out of it. If I need your help, I'll ask for it."

"...and if _she_ asks for it?" Tony murmured.

"She hates herself as much as you sometimes do the same," Pepper said flippantly. "She's not reliable."

Tony laughed. "All right, fine. Next time this happens, I'll sic Happy on her. Deal?"

Pepper couldn't help a small smile at that. "Deal."


	5. Steve Rogers

Steve appeared outside her room a little sheepishly on Monday morning. Pepper waved him in with a wry, “I was wondering when it would be your turn.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Ma’am?”

“To come talk to me,” Pepper elaborated, moving over to her vanity table. “Everyone else has.”

“No one planned it, it just happened,” Steve said with a shrug, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall by the mirror. Pepper glanced up at him with imperious amusement before picking up one of the many powders strewn across the table.

Almost none of them matched her skin-tone or color.

“I’m told you’re handy with make-up?” she said, holding out her selection to him. It was skin-toned, but a little lighter than Pepper’s current hue.

“Perils of traveling with USO girls for months on end,” Steve said with a nostalgic smile. He took the powder and picked up a brush from the table. He sat beside her, straddling the little bench she was seated on, taking in the bruises and their shades with a critical eye. He may not be a professional make-up artist, but he knew a thing or two about camouflage.

The brand name and containers were new to him. But after testing the powder distribution against the back of his hand, the application was easy and familiar for Steve. Spending months helping out the chorus girls with their make-up and costumes before each show came in handier than most people realized.

“So what’s your angle going to be?” Pepper asked as Steve started to minimize the extent of the eye bruising.

“Well,” he said, squinting at the edge of the bruise he was currently working on. “I’m sure you’ve heard by now that if case Nat is abusing you, we can protect you, get her away from you, all of that.”

“She’s not,” Pepper said, her voice neutral.

“That’s good,” Steve said, spending a moment lightening a bruise on her jawline. “I’m pretty sure Phil and Clint gave you advice about what to do. Everyone else has either already helped or told you how they will help on less than a moment’s notice if you need it.”

“Maybe they should need at least a full moment’s notice,” Pepper said, tilting her head at Steve’s gentle prodding so he could get a better angle. “Be a little less jumpy about all this.”

“If it’s any consolation, it’s as much to take care of Natasha as to take care of you.”

Pepper remained silent. Whether it was because she didn’t have anything to say, or because Steve was working on the bruises on her jawline, he didn’t know. Either way, he elaborated.

“She cares about you the most in the world, right now,” Steve said. “That means out of everyone and everything in her life, the one she wants protected the most in the world is you.”

“Tony said something like that.”

“For good reason,” Steve said. “You are already in so much danger just from being around us. Throw in everything you do for us-”

“This isn’t about other people attacking me, Steve.”

“It’s about how afraid Natasha is. We’re all afraid for the people around us.”

“I’ve been told that, too,” Pepper said. “I’ve been told a lot of things.”

“Then it’s pointless for me to add to any of that,” Steve said. “The only thing I came here to say is...listen to them. To us. We’re not out to ‘get’ either of you or blame anyone. We just want you and Natasha to be all right. We hope you two can be all right together, but that isn’t always the case.”

“I’ll make it the case for us,” Pepper said, determination hardening her voice.

“And the rest of us will help,” Steve said. “Promise.”

For a little while, he worked in silence. He started by dulling down the bruises as best as he could, making them look lighter and more healed, and changing the angles a bit where he could. Then he took the darker, bruise-colored powders and started changing the shapes her bruises. Widening and overlaying the ones on her neck to take away the obvious finger-print shapes, making the ones on her face a little more straight-edged or angled.

By the time Steve was done, Pepper looked like she’d fallen down some stairs, and was trying to cover up the damage. No one at Stark Industries would know a thing. The media would gossip, and someone would hit upon the truth soon enough. A broken clock was still right twice a day, even if no one had real clocks any more these days. But with this level of attention to her appearance, it would be easy to wave it off as idle gossip and ignore it in the long run.

According to Tony, the story was going to be that Pepper had slipped, some spilled water on a staircase conspiring with her towering high-heeled shoes to send her tumbling. It sounded stupid, but the plan was to laugh and play along with whatever the media said, pointedly not responding to anything. Act as if it were the truth for long enough, and people would believe it.

Nat hated hiding it. But Pepper had no interest in letting the world tear her apart anymore than they already did.

“Thank you, Steve,” Pepper said, smiling as he gave her appearance one last inspection. One could only see the discrepancies up close. Pepper wouldn’t tolerate that kind of invasion of her private space from relative strangers. The only people she liked to allow that close were those who already knew the truth, anyway.

“You’re welcome,” Steve said, standing up.

He fetched her the crutches and helped her up. As soon as she was standing and moving, Steve stepped away, following at a careful step-and-a-half behind her into the living room.

There, Nat was waiting for them - or rather, Natalie Rushman was. Despite the fact the whole world now knew who the Black Widow was, she liked to pull this old alias out to assist Pepper - or subtly intimidate business people that Pepper needed intimidated.

For today, Pepper just needed someone to carry her stuff.

(And a small way to make Natasha feel like she was redeeming herself.)

The two women conversed in whispers for a moment. Even if they knew it, no one would ever be able to look at these two women and assume they had anything but a professional relationship - just the way everyone liked it, most of all them.

After a while, Natasha walked off - quickly, perhaps a little too quickly. It was hard to tell when women were wearing those shoes.

Pepper sighed, shoulders slumping against her crutches for a moment as she turned to face the city.

“I don’t suppose you have any advice for when it gets better?” Pepper said as Steve sidled up to her side. “I mean, I know you haven’t had to deal with this before-”

“You’d be surprised,” Steve said, standing beside her with his elbow brushing up against hers. “Shell shock, or, um, PTSD - that's not limited to after a war.”

Pepper turned to face him along the line of their shoulders, only her expression asking Steve to elaborate.

“We’ve...the Howling Commandos and I, we’ve taken a few swings at each other coming out of a bad dream, even in the field. Especially since we often had to wake each other up if the signs of the nightmare were getting too loud and we were in insecure territory. We couldn’t always afford to wait it out. It’s not the same - it’s not nearly the same. But it’s still...”

“Hard,” Pepper said.

“I suppose, at the very least, I’ve been on both sides of this,” Steve drawled. “Jim got my with a kidney punch once, and Bucky once socked me hard enough to knock a tooth loose. Howard had a ball working with the army dentist to fix it up again. We all knew it wasn’t our fault...though that usually didn’t stop any of us from paying bar tabs as an apology.”

Pepper smiled, and Steve counted it as a victory.

“How did you deal with it?” Pepper said.

“To be honest? I don’t know. We kind of didn’t. There was a war on and all that, and I went down in the ice before ever having to contend with it in a civilian context.”

Steve looked away, out towards the city. New York was resilient, but even after all this time, he could still catch the occasional scar of structural damage from the Chitauri attack.

It’s been so long, but come bed time, the City of Dreams was still full of nightmares.

And come tomorrow morning, it would be full of people continuing on with their lives in spite of everyone that's tried to destroy them.

“I sleep alone, now,” Steve said. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not actually the answer.”

“It’s not,” Pepper said. “We have...we have a plan. We’re not going to spend the rest of our lives sleeping alone, sleeping away from each other. I’m not going to go to bed next to the love of my life afraid of waking up hurt, and I’m not letting Natasha go to bed afraid of hurting me. I’m not.”

“I know you won’t,” Steve said. “The rest of us believe you. We just want to be sure you get how rough this road is going to be.”

“I’m in crutches and Natasha is trying to get Bruce to give her sedatives to sleep. I think I have some idea,” Pepper said, the previous moment’s humor all gone now.

“That’s...good, I guess. That you know what you’re getting into.”

He could hear her swallow.

“I don’t suppose you have any advice for if this doesn’t get better?” Pepper asked. Despite her best efforts, Steve could hear the undercurrents of fear trickling through her voice.

The precursor to one of Natasha’s worst nightmares has come to pass, and now Pepper was seeing her own on the horizon.

Steve couldn’t help but wonder what Dr. Erskine would’ve thought of them, if he would’ve picked one of them as a candidate for the serum.

“I don’t,” Steve said. “Though I’m pretty sure sleeping together - actually sleeping together, not the euphemism - isn’t that necessary to keep a relationship alive. You two, the way you are together, I think you could keep a long-lasting relationship alive across two beds.”

Pepper huffed in something approaching a humorless chuckle. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“No. But a relationship where you two can’t sleep together is better than no relationship at all, right?”

“Well, duh,” Pepper said, over a decade of living and working around Tony Stark shining through in that moment.

Steve smiled. “Good. I won’t keep you any longer. And you know if you need help-”

“I’ll call,” Pepper said with ill-contained fond exasperation.

Steve resisted the urge to offer assistance as Pepper made her way across the wide expanse of carpeted floor to the elevator. She hobbled inside and turned around, and the last Steve saw of her for the day was her determined face before the elevator doors closed on her.

“...keep an eye on her, JARVIS?” Steve asked.

“As best as I can, as I always do,” the AI answered, with a hint of indignation at the thought he might do otherwise. Steve smiled and turned back to looking over the city.

Maybe the scars would disappear or maybe they would always be there. Either way, New York would move on, as proud and wonderful as ever.

Steve didn’t expect any less from Natasha and Pepper.


	6. Natasha Romanoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday, so I'm updating this a little early as part of my annual birthday update/posting bonanza. ^+^

Natasha never thought she could be so grateful for automatic doors. Yet she found herself feeling a vague, deeply hidden desire to weep in gratitude as she carried Pepper into the bedroom. She silently mouthed, thanks JARVIS out of Pepper’s line of sight as Natasha set her down on the bed, the lights coming on at their dim, default setting.

Kneeling at her feet, Natasha pulled Pepper’s shoes off, then peeled off the slipper-socks underneath. Taking a few extra moments to massage Pepper’s feet, Natasha fought against the feeling of contentment that wanted to settle into her bones at this little bit of normalcy.

She kissed the insteps of Pepper’s feet and the inside of her ankles. As soon as she lifted her gaze, she had to turn her eyes away from the brace on Pepper’s knee.

“Jacket,” Pepper said, and Natasha obliged, pulling off the sling to undo the buttons and pull off the jacket, followed by the shirt and everything else.

Some days, Natasha still couldn’t believe that this woman was hers. Even know, unwrapping Pepper in the quiet of their dimly lit room, she couldn’t help but feel like it wasn’t real. How does a poor little girl scooped up from the slums of Stalingrad in post-war Soviet Russia, sculpted and brainwashed into the perfect killer and spending decades as someone else’s frozen toy, end up in a tower in America with the most beautiful and powerful woman in the world? How?

As Natasha pulled the shirt off, her eyes landed on a bruise on Pepper’s shoulder, and it became all too real.

She helped Pepper out of the rest of her clothes and managed to get her into her pajama pants and camisole without incident. But it was after smoothing out the shirt over Pepper’s belly, when Natasha’s hand brushed Pepper’s neck and Pepper flinched, that Natasha had to sit back away from Pepper lest she scream.

“I can’t do this,” Natasha said.

“Can’t do what?” Pepper said immediately. Her injuries costing her none of her grace or authority as she refused to fall for Natasha’s classic vagueness and verbal twists. God, she manipulated people without even trying, without thinking about it. Pepper had allowed it but never fallen for it, never let it stand where it counted.

Natasha was always standing on the razor thin wire between loving her and hating her for it.

“...stay with you,” Natasha said. “I could hurt you again, and even if I don’t, I’ll always be afraid that I will.”

“And when have we ever let our fear stop us?” Pepper asked.

“That’s - you’re not some mission-”

“This isn’t about making me a mission! This about the fact you’ve gone through a terrifying life and come out better and stronger for it. Don’t let all that pain and fear be vain, Natasha, please.”

Pepper wrapped her arms around Natasha. Natasha pressed close, smothering her face in Pepper’s neck and letting the faded smell of Pepper’s perfume fill her nose and mind.

If only she could crawl into Pepper and never come out again, never face the world again.

“This will take time. And fear. And pain. And we will both be better for it, okay?” Pepper said. “Promise me you won’t give up on us.”

“I promise,” Natasha said, cursing the break in her voice and the wetness she could feel building up her eyes.

“You’re mine, Natasha, and I’m not letting anyone or anything take you away from me if we can help it, and we can. Your past masters and torturers and enemies can all go to hell where they belong, but you are staying right here with me. Got it?”

Probably without realizing it, Pepper had started slipping into her bossy voice by the end. Natasha couldn’t help but smile into Pepper’s neck, letting the accursed tears fall onto Pepper’s shoulder.

“Got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Now all that's left is the stinger.~~ Please let me know what you think! Concrit is ♥.


	7. Happy Hogan

Despite what some people tended to think, Harold “Happy” Hogan wasn’t an idiot, thank you very much. Choosing to place his trust in the people he cared about isn’t a sign of idiocy, it was goddamn loyalty.

(Whether that loyalty was misplaced or not is another debate entirely.)

Like anyone with eyes and a heart, he was concerned when he first saw Pepper in crutches, some faded bruising around her head and her arm in a sling.

It was loyalty and respect for his bosses - because if there was anyone who deserved those after everything they’d been through, it was Tony and Pepper - that led Happy to take their words for it when they said she’d slipped down some stairs.

But that doesn’t mean he missed how shifty everyone was being about it.

And he got it - sometimes he couldn’t know things. He was constantly at risk of someone kidnapping him and trying to interrogate him. Sometimes, it was Happy himself who had to tell Tony to shut up, because in some situations, the less he knew, the better. He got it, that sometimes they couldn’t tell him things.

That didn’t mean he had to like it.

Or that just because there were some things he shouldn’t know meant he couldn’t know anything.

He kept a sharp eye on it. Yeah, sure, it was his job to make sure as few security threats could get to them as possible and that meant keeping a sharp eye out, but still.

It wasn’t until well after Pepper was all healed up, though, crutches left behind, sling taken off, and bruises left long behind, that Happy found out what actually happened. And when he did...

“Hey! Romanoff!”

It was one of those rare moments where he could catch Agent Romanov without Pepper or any of the other Avengers around. The lobby of Stark Tower was almost empty. She had stayed behind for some paperwork as her Robin Hood buddy went upstairs.

“Yes, Mr. Hogan?”

“I need a moment of your time - in my office, please.”

He had never been so grateful for the fact Pepper and Tony agreed to keep his office near the ground instead of up on high like everyone else as right now. It was like one moment to the next in his elevator, and then into his office.

He had an office, now. His life boggled his mind, some time. He had an office because he worked for a superhero.

(Or two.)

“Shut the door,” he said, getting behind his desk and sitting in his chair. Being behind a desk gave you power, authority, and if he wanted to stand a chance against the Black Widow, he was going to need every scrap of help he could get.

“So,” he said as conversationally as he could as she sat down in the chair in front of his desk. “Pepper’s leg. And arm. And the bruises. I heard what happened. And now, I know what happened.”

Once upon a time, he would’ve been disappointed that she didn’t show a reaction at all.

Now, he knew better.

“Pepper seems rather insistent that it was an accident,” he continued.

“It was,” Natasha said, no trace of regret or emotion on her face. If Happy'd still thought she was Natalie Rushman, he’d be offended on Pepper’s behalf.

He knew she wasn’t Natalie Rushman.

“I get that you get nightmares,” Happy said. “I do. Cause you know what? I get them, too. And I don’t know much about you, but I know enough to realize that everything I’ve been through in my life is a drop in the bucket compared to how your last year has been, let alone your entire life. So when you all tell me it was an accident, that you didn’t mean it, all that? I believe you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Good. Because I was about to add that I don’t care.”

He didn’t know Natasha Romanoff that well, but he knew her enough to realize that the surprise she was showing, she meant for him to see.

“Here’s the thing: whether you meant it or not, whether you realized what was happening, all of that...it doesn’t matter. Because in the end, Pepper still got hurt. Actually, an accident makes it kinda worse - because you can’t guarantee that it won’t happen again.”

Natasha pursed her lips.

“You think I don’t know that?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m sure you know that,” Happy said. “Considering the kind of things you guys are up to, I would truly be worried for the fate of humanity if you didn’t. That’s not what I brought you here to say.”

“Then why did you want to talk to me?”

“To say this,” Happy said, leaning forward in his seat a little. “I know that you probably think of me as a joke, that you aren’t in the least bit intimidated by me. But that doesn’t change the fact that if you ever hurt Pepper again - I will hold you responsible. And if Pepper isn’t there to tell me to back off, or if she ever has to tell me to back off one too many times, then I will charge at you with everything I have. And yeah, sure, you’d probably wipe the floor with me. And when you were done, I would go and shake down every contact I have - in the government, the press, the whole shebang - and use every single one of them against you. And maybe it won’t be enough at first. But Pepper? People know her. People love her. And when I tell them what happened, the truth about you and Pepper...one way or another, it will be enough. I will make be enough.”

He tilted his head. “You understand me?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, Agent Romanov. That’s all I had to say to you. You can leave.”

She didn’t say a word as she got up and pushed her chair open, but she did pause at the door, before turning back to face him.

“Happy?”

“Yeah?”

“I wouldn’t wipe the floor with you,” she said, voice low like she was sharing a secret. He got the feeling she was. “If Pepper ever got hurt because of me - I would deserve everything you could throw at me, and I would take it all.”

“Good. Then let’s make sure Pepper doesn’t ever get hurt again.”

Romanov smiled, and Happy got the distinct feeling it was a real one as she turned and finally left.

Happy finally let himself smile as he look through the door she just left through. Accident aside, she was good for Pepper. He’d seen it in the little ways Pepper seems...well, less stressed out by her job now than when she was single or with Tony. How her smiles are less PR-gimmicky. Her happiness was more open whenever he took her around town, walking as her bodyguard or driving her around. Because he doesn’t care about his promotion, he’s the only one Happy can trust to drive his bosses around.

He knew Pepper. He knew when she’s actually happy and when she’s just pretending. He knew when she was content and when she needed an escape from a press mob, a dinner, or a breather from her life.

He also knew what that look on her face meant whenever they drove past a high-end cake shop. He could practically see the numbers running in her head whenever they went by a bridal store.

He thinks he might start to slow down whenever they pass by those.

**Author's Note:**

> Man, I really like outsider POV. Didn't really think about how often it showed up in my works until now.


End file.
